Mõnikord pead lahkuma, et aru saada, kuhu sa tegelikult kuulud.
My path back to Eesti wasn’t direct.
After a disappointing 2011 praktika in Tallinn – no real work, no pay, living over an hour from other noored – I disengaged from eestlus for the first time in my life.
It was a time where I felt utterly rudderless.
But distance brought clarity. Scaling back and then living away from the North American Estonian scene, I found renewed appreciation for this beautiful, dysfunctional little “village” we call our own.
I dove back in: rahvatants, eesti üritused, juhi ja vabatahtliku rollid, Jõekääru võrkpallilaager. The community had momentum, and I was part of moving it forward.
When my grandmother passed in early 2019, something shifted. I left my job that summer for a “self-imposed sabbatical”. Traveling, training, writing, working on projects that went nowhere but taught me everything.
That summer, I spent a week roaming Estonia after laulu- ja tantsupidu ended. Kihnu merepäevad. Hiiumaa. My last nights in Tallinn, exploring the city on my own terms for the first time. No itinerary, no expectations.
It felt müstiline (mystical). When it came time to leave, my heart ached.
It felt like leaving home. An unfinished chapter.
By fall, as my savings dwindled, I started interviewing — in the US and Estonia. An ühendus that I’d met at merepäevad reached out about an opening at his firma. Eventually, two offers landed: one stateside with higher pay doing work I knew cold, one in Estonia with a massive pay cut doing work I’d never touched.
Every rational calculation pointed stateside. More raha. More security.
Ma valisin Eesti.
What I Loved
Seal tundus elu lihtne. Ja see lihtsus muutis kõike.
From day one, I felt it. Everything made more sense there.
Society functioned better. Life felt simpler, quieter, more intentional. A euro stretched further. Everything was walkable or accessible by ühistransport. The water and food were cleaner and tasted better.
I loved wandering vanalinn‘s cobblestone streets in the early morning when they felt entirely mine. Walking through Pirita’s pine forests to the beach. Grabbing coffee and a pastry at Röst while reading Edasi. The no-frills efficiency of Gym!. Winter trips to the spaa for saun ja aur. The absurdly reasonable bar tabs. Four-euro lõunasöök that was delicious and nutritious.
I loved exploring Estonia with my buddy Andres. Every week, we planned something. A hike. A weekend trip. Hitting a new spot about town.
Pikad matkarajad, kuum saun, külm õlu. Life felt simpler — nagu lapsepõlv korraks tagasi tulnud. Like all of Eesti was ours.
When the world shut down, having an adventure buddy kept me sane, moving, and reminded me why I’d come to Eesti in the first place.
I loved how matter-of-fact the news was. Lihtsalt faktid. Nothing sensationalized. How straightforward taxes were. How kids navigated the city on public transport by themselves. How Russians wore jumpsuits even in frigid temperatures. Külm? Pole hullu. How people skipped small talk and asked refreshingly direct questions. How wonderfully koomilised and unaware of it Estonians could be.
I loved visiting my great-aunt on her farm. She was 70-something, doing everything herself, eating almost entirely what she grew or bartered locally. Tõeline maaelu. That closeness to the maa, to toit, to a self-sustaining life … see tundus õige. Her lõhe or klimbisupp in that cozy kitchen. The silence of the morning or evening in the country side. Puhas vaikus.
I loved the countryside encounters when locals were shocked that I spoke eesti keelt. “Sa räägid eesti keelt?!” The spontaneous rahvalaulud, like that drunk night in Riga where we made new friends, pilots for Baltic Air, who pulled out accordions and let it rip.
What I Struggled With
Iga valik tuleb hinnaga.
The challenges were real. The company I’d joined was drowning in politics and executive drama. I was far from family and my girlfriend. The pay was rough, even stretching every euro, I saved next-to-nothing. The tech sector felt comfortable — almost too comfortable — frustrating for someone wired for “American hustle”.
I missed some creature comforts. Buffalo sauce, certain supplements—I found replacements, but the access wasn’t the same.
Building connections was slow. Sõprussuhted võtavad aega. And then COVID shut everything down. Lockdown isolation was brutal — üksindus tuli vaikselt, aga tugevalt. We were balancing loneliness with keeping people safe, when none of us knew what we were dealing with. Keegi ei teadnud, kui kaua see kestab.
When restrictions closed the country, my ability to rännata and grow my juured faded almost overnight. The stillness that once felt grounding began to feel confining. I fought the notion of leaving quietly and stubbornly for months …
But some choices aren’t about desire. They’re about timing.
Eventually, I returned to the US of A.
The chapter wasn’t complete. It simply ended mid-sentence.
For Other Noored Considering the Leap
Iga hetk oli seda väärt. Kui kaalud hüpet, ära karda.
Even cut short by COVID, even with the struggles … it was worth it.
Every moment was worth it.
My ties to Estonia are bone-deep now. The forests. The cold bite of the Baltic. This tiny, enigmatic country that unfolds like a secret. Iga vastus toob uue küsimuse. The friends who became family somewhere between the first beer and the last.
The memories haven’t faded. If anything, they’ve sharpened. They’ve settled.
My wife and I go back every year now. Me käime igal aastal. We just booked flights to bring our daughter around her first birthday. To show her the pine forests and cobblestone streets, to let her breathe that air, to plant the same seeds in her that once took root in me. Et tal oleks oma side. Oma lugu.
That’s what the experience of living in Eesti gave me: a deeper connection to my roots, to this community, to what kodu actually feels like.
If you’re considering this move, a few things I’d do differently:
- Research your company thoroughly.
- Line up connections before you arrive. People to lean on matters.
- Save aggressively, or keep a US remote job. The earning power gap is real.
- Consider Tartu or a smaller city for deeper language immersion and a more authentically Estonian experience.
But here’s what I know for certain: I haven’t met a single person who made this move and regretted it. I know people living there right now who are incredibly grateful for the opportunity, for the experience, for what it’s given them.
The simplicity. The intentionality. See tõmbab sind kaasa.
You’ll come back different. More grounded. More cultured. More certain about what matters.
That’s the gift Estonia gives.
See on Eesti kingitus.
Magnus Skonberg
